Dateline June 30, 2022
During this month-long countdown to 60 years young, the temptation to cram all manners of self-growth and introspective modalities looms large. From the attainable & productive to the obscure & unrealistic, I am willing to try anything in a desperate attempt to kick off this next decade with the Queen/BossLady/Grown Ass Woman attributes I never quite envisioned myself possessing.
Among these indulgences include learning enough French to hold a conversation with a native speaker and impress my children, then Italian (same reason) daily meditation, attaining enlightenment, breathing life into my perpetually fledgling enterprises – Courageous Carrot Cake™ and Toni’s Table™, regularly publish my musings, recreating a summer garden bounty (see photo), transition my daily routines, okay….failed daily routines into a set of rituals. How infrequently were my “routines” executed, you ask? So rarely they resemble more of a wish list than actual routine. Lifting their importance while elevating my sense of worthiness in deserving this level of attention to self-care just feels right.
There are the needs – those actions and practices without which there is no making it through the day: Sleep before midnight, stretch before rising, drinking 16 ounces of water immediately upon rising, writing, and 30 minutes of cardio.
[Okay, you and I both know that on any given day, at least two of those items tumble from the must-do list to the lost orbit of “later today”. Sleep before midnight plays the neglected stepchild in this ensemble. How do we know this? I am typing this at 1:30AM. Not to worry, I won’t insult your intelligence by promising a happy ending. Let’s just see how this progresses, eh? This first step, writing, and publishing, a blog entry…can we just call it an essay? It feels like an essay to me. At any rate, publishing this initial stream-of-consciousness along with incorporating the above listed practices on a daily basis simply serve as congruent stepping stones on this path to 60. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.]
The desire to practice self-care, the intellectual understanding of its importance, remains stubbornly vulnerable to my indoctrinated urge to people-please and self-subjugate. In addition to being incredibly self-destructive habits, they also happen to constitute my own subconscious rituals.
Time to flip that particular script.
These next 30 days I plan to commit every ounce of my Covid-drained energy (oh yeah – that happened, but let’s just save that for another chat, eh?) replacing the habit of merely surviving with the mindset to practice thriving every damn day.
Transcending the psycho-emotional distractions requires finding my way back to the basics.
I’m talking about the ABC’s, baaaaayyyy-beee!!
You’re probably wondering, “Learning the alphabet? What the hell is she talking about?” I developed a quirky little method utilizing the alphabet to redirect my energy and elevate my spirits, mindset & Self from whatever depths to which I may sink. The practice came to me quite organically after experiencing two consecutive days of earthquakes back in LA.
What?? You don’t recall my post introducing this gem of a practice?
Of course you don’t – because I never published it.
Lots of reasons why – over three years – this brilliant concept never saw the light of day, but not a single damned good reason.
So on this march to my seventh decade, the first commitment to my Self, beyond basic care and feeding, is to publish at least twice weekly.
It may be drivel.
It may make you laugh.
On occasion it may offend.
But it will represent my authentic Self.
Today, that goal serves as my summit.
Join me for this smorgasbord of thoughts, stories, recipes – you already know, I’m all about the food! – as I journey towards 60 and a renewed sense of self.
Kind of like notes to myself… … … T-Notes! (Can I tell ya?? I been sittin’ on that one a very long time.)
Do you have a milestone anniversary or event coming up? How about a new beginning, whether long-awaited or unexpected? I’d love to hear whether and how you choose to mark the passage.
Drop a line and let me know.
Hugs,
Toni